This is my first chapter of my first short story ever: It's an adventure thriller type.  I've been working through one of David Farland's books and trying to do what he says. I know there will be a lot of improvement to be done, so if you can just general hints and maybe books that might be helpful for me to read I would appreciate it heaps!!


It was one of those beautiful perfect days in Sydney.  The Harbour was covered in pretty little sailing boats and the occasional giant majestic yacht, all gliding across the sparkling blue. These were the days that everyone pretended made living in one of the world’s most expensive cities worthwhile.  

Sean pulled his eyes away from the window and back to his dual monitors. His fingers tap-tapped on the keyboard, adding to the gentle clickety-click background rhythm of the 17th floor.

His phone buzzed and a quick glanced showed it was from Anna.  He turned the phone over.  “Later”, he said to himself.

“Hey, did you sort that issue out?” It was Amit.  He loomed large next to Sean’s desk in his perfect grey suit and cuffs.

“Yeah, all good.  Already tested and promoted, should go live in about ten minutes.”

“Nice. What was the problem?” 

“Looks like visa changed the way they encode address prefixes without telling anyone”

Amit looked blank.

“You know, like unit or floor or apartment?  Apartment used to be APT but now it’s APRT.  Caused the matching service to go wobbly which stopped payment processing in the overnight batch.”

“Right. That’s great, the bank owes you.  Are we still meeting for lunch today?”


“Okay I’ll meet you there at 12”, Amit walked away, stopping briefly to smile and chat to Chandru in the hallway.


Amit was just ordering when Sean arrived.  He closed the menu, “and the rump steak for my friend, medium rare with pepper sauce and chips. Did I get that right Sean?”

“Perfect”, smiled Sean, “two little creatures as well thanks”

Amit raised an eyebrow, “Beer on a Tuesday Sean?  I hope you are not having home trouble?”

“Ha. Is it that obvious?”. Amit waited, looking at Sean.

Sean looked across the glare of the Harbour at the Maritime Museum with it’s submarine on display, remembering the time Stephen and Lizzy climbed all over that thing. They were just ten and eight.  They loved that day.  Running wild through the cabins, rooms and corridors. He loved that day. Now all he saw of them was their backs as they huffed into their rooms and closed and locked doors.

“A little.” he sighed to Amit.

The beer arrived.

“Cheers, Ahhh.  How do they make it so good?” Amit mused appreciatively.

“Tell me Sean, what is the problem?”

“Anna and I aren’t really getting along so great.  Fighting a lot. It’s really getting me down”

“The western fall-out of a love marriage” said Amit, “In India we don’t fight”

“You mean in India no one talks about fighting.”

He flashed a grin, “True.  It’s almost the same thing”.

They took another sip, squinting out across water. “How long have you and Shilpa been married?”

Amit looked up and used his fingers, “About ten years now”


“Uhuh” nodded Amit, “It’s been a pretty good deal. she cooks and cleans and looks after the children.  What more could a man ask for?”

Sometimes intercultural friendships were unhelpful.