This is a draft of a podcast script for our Writers Bloc Makes Noise – Blocast series with All the Best Radio. Each week I’m going tackling the steps involved in moving a written piece of text to a short podcast. You should 100% join us, and make your own! All The Best want you to send through your entries: contact reviews@thewritersbloc.net, and they’re looking to feature some on their show.

You can catch up with wk 1 of our project here: http://www.thewritersbloc.net/wb-makes-noise-podcasting-part-i

I’ve changed a list I found in my high school diary into a draft script that I’ll make into a podcast with you as a template. This will probably change form as I start to record it, but to get a sense of what we’re after, here’s what I’m thinking:

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People worry about HECs debts, 18 year old me was deeply concerned about poetry.

I’m cleaning out my room after graduation when I find The List. It’s perfect, it’s 100 dot points long, and it is titled:

How will I use an Arts Degree? I ask. Let me count the ways!

18 year old me is definitely taking the piss, but in the years since I can’t even work out which parts she’s serious about and which bits self mocking. Maybe this is adulthood – not getting the wit you used to have. Sometimes, jokes with yourself only last as long as the end of the page. So let’s do an inventory. How on the money was I about the value of liberal arts? Word for word, my 18 year old list, held up against the experiences of a grad.

1. I’ll drink coffee while looking vaguely intellectual (against beautiful buildings...)

Hmmm, architecture and caffeine. Not a snob at all, were you? Yup.  

 

2. Become a diplomat

Jeez, jumping from coffee to the UN mighty quick, eh? Not yet.

 

3. Work at NY State Library

WHAT.

 

4. Eat cake at Brunetti (once in a blue moon)

Ah, sweet 18 year old Emma, thinking you can pace yourself when it comes to baked goods. Yep.

 

5. Argue in tutes til my heart is content

...and the tutor says they have to leave? YEP.

 

6. Be capable of explaining the importance of iambic pentameter...

No. Even when at The globe, we were more interested in drinking Starbucks on the Thames. Fail.

 

7. Get Warner Bros to buy the pilot of my awesome, deep/dark/witty TV show.

OH COME ON. Also, was HBO not at least a thing in the late 2000s yet?

 

8. Bask in uncertain student poverty.

YUP.

 

9. Gain an appreciation of humanity.

Aiming high, I see. Yeah, I guess? Gained an appreciation of gin?

 

10. Write a snappy column that focuses on equality

Yes, 18 year old Emma. Snappiest writer around! But also kind of yep.

 

11. Become a journalist

Yes!

 

12. Become a feminist

Yes!

 

13. Realise that the above identities will NEVAH translate into the real world.

Erm, I’m glad you spelt ‘nevah’ like that. But have a little more faith in me, hey?

 

14. Meet gorgeous, humanities-loving boys

No comment. But also, points for classifying males who like social sciences as an endangered species...

 

15. Start a beat poetry cafe in San Francisco

(What movie had I just watched to prompt that one?)

 

16. Have more fun than a student of biomedicine

Hey now, retract teen claws!

 

17. Write at least 3 novels

No. Also, dude, a 3 hour English exam doth not a novelist make...

 

18. Become a student politician (hah!)

A grey area, I would say...but it’s nice that you’re so condescending as a yr 12 here!

 

19. Make contacts

I got contact lenses, does that count?

 

20. Make some friends. (You have to make some friends, ok?)

Ok. I think I managed that one pretty well, kid.

 

21.  Discuss all this new found knowledge with my best friend.

I think this is the only one I was serious about, as that overly sarcastic learner driver back then. And I’m serious now when I say that this one didn’t even take any work. Didn't need to open a beat poetry cafe or enter a career in diplomacy. Hmm, priorities.

 

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Which short piece are you going to record with us? Let us know, tweet @writers_bloc and follow our future tutes!