Oh the numbness of it all!

How can one feel so numb?

When you are the Queen of the Universe

And your subjects are doing their best to please you

You are never satisfied!  

Your mother often showered you with the greatest treasures of the world

Particularly and spectacularly guaranteed trips to the moon

At the hour of her death the world was yours to own 

Yet you cry alone in your chambers 

No one to hold you and no one to care

Everyone goes about their business

"Chin up dear! Duty awaits!"

There is no mourning to be done

No time to recuperate

No time to be coddled 

Grow up! You are no longer a child!

You don't matter so lift yourself up, dust yourself off, and carry on

You try to stand and you fall flat on your face

The harsh memories flood you 

The realization hits

The maternal love you craved so desperately was denied to you 

You were home and still it did not feel like home

Mother only wanted an heir to her throne

Your emotions be damned

You grew cold

Yet it wasn't your nature

You did what you had to do

The farce was up 

No need to drag on the false pretenses

Mourning is not only for the dead 

Every tear you shed will set you free from your emotional oppression

Let out every last droplet

Every last stubborn tear

Once the storm leaves the shore

You shall be who you choose

You are the queen of your own universe

Therefore, your future happiness is now up to you