October 6th, 1985
There's smiles and cheers as the Bride and Groom step through the arched church doorway into a glorious spring day and a shower of rose petals. They kiss and hug their friends and family, laugh and joke as they make their way down the stone steps and down the path to the waiting limousine.
Inside the car the Best Man, Jerry and Maid of Honour, Tina are already seated, they cheer as the newly-weds, Angela and Chris, slide across the leather upholstery. Jerry pops the cork of a bottle of French Champagne and quickly gathers up a glass to catch the frothing liquid.
"Have I told you how stunning you look today Ange?" Jerry asks as he hands her and the others their glasses.
"Only about a dozen times Jez," Angela replies as she smiles at him and takes a sip.
"Well, it's true," he answers with a cheeky grin.
Tina calls out, "Cheers to that!" and raises her glass. The four chink their glasses together and laugh, "Cheers to that!" as the Limo moves away to applause from the gathered crowd.
The reception was the usual affair. The guests drank, ate and clanged cutlery on their glasses to prompt the bride and groom to kiss whenever they got bored of whoever they were talking to. The band played cheesy love songs and everyone danced around like fools - laughing hysterically as Grandma danced the YMCA. The MC's jokes were mildly amusing. The groom’s friends ridiculed him. The bride’s friends giggled and cried through their speech. And the proud fathers speeches went too long. Eventually the time came for the last dance and the good-byes.
The newly-weds, the best man and maid of honour climb back into the limousine, laughing and joking. The car slowly drives down the driveway of the reception centre and on toward the city and the hotel.
Twenty minutes later the passengers are surprised when the car stops in a dark street outside an isolated and derelict factory. All had been too busy having fun to bother paying attention to the route their car was taking.
The tinted glass partition separating the driver from the passengers slides down.
"What's the problem Driver?" Jerry asks casually.
"There's no problem, Jez," he responds cheerfully but with just a hint of malice. "I just thought it was time for a bit of honesty."
"Honesty?" Jerry asks quizzically. The others have fallen silent. A certain amount of tension has replaced the frivolity. All eyes are now on the driver.
"Yes Jez. Honesty." The Driver responds revealing a black pistol over the partition.
"Oh shit!", Jerry yells. The girls scream. Chris turns pale.
"Oh shit, indeed Jez," The Driver responds menacingly. "Honesty's not one of your strong points is it Jezza, me ol' mate?"
Jerry responds, "What do you mean? What is all this about?"
The Driver sneers at him, "I think you know what this is about Jez. Unfortunately it's poor Chris here who really has no clue", waving the gun momentarily in Chris’ direction before returning its muzzle back toward Jerry.
"What's he talking about Jerry?" Chris asks his friend, surprised to be suddenly included in this bizarre turn of events.
"I really don't know", replies Jerry. "He's nuts."
Tina pipes up, "Don't insult him Jerry. He's got a gun."
"Thank you Tina", The Driver smiles. "Thank you for pointing that out. I do indeed have a gun and I will use it if our friend here doesn't admit that he hasn't been terribly honest to his mate Chris."
"What are you on about you crazy bastard?" yells the always overly confident Jerry.
"Now, now Jeremiah. Didn't you hear the lovely Tina? I have a gun and I will have none of your smart mouthing young man."
Jerry bites his lip and looks down at his lap.
After a few seconds of silence Chris speaks up, "Look, why don't you tell us all what this is about. Maybe we can work something out."
"Excellent idea Chris" chirps The Driver, "Let's all act like adults and try to work this out. What about a bit of group therapy?", he gazes at the four, "You've been very quiet Angela, why don't you start?"
"Me?", Angela asks, also surprised to be suddenly involved, "What do you want me to say?"
The Driver cocks his head, "Oh, I don't know. How about: Hi, my name is Angela and I'm... A FILTHY SLUT!"
Suddenly, all eyes are on a very stunned Angela. "Wha-aat?" she stutters.
"Oh come on Ange, don't play dumb. You know what I'm talking about." says The Driver calmly.
"No, no I don't know," Angela replies nervously.
"Yes you fucking do!", snaps The driver pointing the gun at her head.
Angela breaks down and weeps.
The Driver looks at Jerry, "Come on Jezza. I think you've caught on now." he smiles, "Time to spill the beans."
"Look, I really don't know what it is you want me to admit to but I think we can come to some arrangement." Jerry offers. "I've got two grand in my jacket pocket and I can get hold of fifty more, tonight, if you want it."
The Driver laughs, "This is nothing to do with money Jerry, you stupid Yuppie! There's not enough money in The World to get you out of this." And with that he shoots Jerry in the chest.
The Driver waits patiently for the blood splattered girls to stop screaming. He looks at Jerry, still conscious but splayed out on the back seat of the limo with blood soaking through his white shirt and a large urine stain in the crotch of his trousers. "Are you still with us Jerry? OK, now that I have your full attention, I think it's time to watch a little movie." He produces a remote control and pushes a button. A small TV screen lights up and images of people at a party appear.
The quality is far from perfect but the passengers all recognise this scene as the living room of Jerry's beach house. All four of them are there, plus about a dozen or so others. The camera shows Chris playing poker with a few guys and then pans to follow Angela leaving the room through the balcony door into the night. Followed shortly by Jerry. The view cuts to a night scene and a sandy beach, waves can be heard crashing in the background. The camera slowly rises over a sand dune to show two naked people. A male and a female. It then zooms-in and, with the aid of a full moon, Angela's face, eye's closed in ecstasy, can be clearly distinguished. Also clearly visible is Jerry on top of her. They kiss and continue making love oblivious to the voyeur holding the camera.
Angela looks at Chris to find him staring at her. "How could you do that?" he pleads, "That was our engagement party."
"I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing" Angela sobs, "I'm so sorry."
Chris watches her silently as she continues crying.
The Driver chips in, "Drunk huh? You must be a regular alcoholic; were you drunk again yesterday morning when this was filmed?" And a new scene is revealed on the TV screen. This one Chris recognises as the hotel Jerry has been staying at since he arrived back in town for the wedding. Again it shows Angela and Jerry having sex, this time in a bed. Angela is on top of Jerry riding him vigorously, screaming and panting. The date and time encoded into the video provide evidence to back up The Driver's claim.
Jerry struggles to speak, "I'm... I'm so sorry Chris." Tears run down his cheeks, mixing with the blood in the corners of his mouth.
Chris can only stare off into the distance. "How did you get this?" he asks The Driver, gesturing to the video screen.
"Oh, you can thank the lovely Tina for these." he replies and turns to Tina. "I'm sure she meant to tell you about the shenanigans your fiancé and best friend were up to. But then she got distracted by Jerry's generous offer of Fifty-thousand Dollars to keep quiet. Hmm, would that be the same Fifty G's you offered me earlier Jerry?" he looks at Jerry, "Jerry? Oooh, Jeerrrryyyy?" Feigning sympathy he adds, "Oh what a shame, he's gone."
Angela and Tina burst into tears.
"Awww", says The Driver, "I hope I have two pretty girls crying at my side when I die." Then adds, "Oh! wait 'til you see the rest of this video. It's brilliant, there's a really interesting twist. I don't want to spoil it for you but I think you'll be surprised, as was I, to learn that Tina didn't take these videos because she secretly loved you and didn't want to see you get hurt, which is what I believed at first. Nor was she secretly in love with Jerry - my second reaction. No, Tina's not that kind of girl, if you get my drift. It's Ange she holds a torch for." He gestures to the screen, "Check this out for a bit of hot girl-on-girl action."
On screen Tina and Angela are kissing and caressing each other. After about a minute the camera wobbles a little before settling into a sturdy position and Jerry strides naked into view. He joins Tina in kissing Angela's breasts.
Chris has seen enough, "Stop! Stop it!" he yells and begins to sob.
"Oops. That was a bit insensitive of me. I do apologise, Chris." says The Driver.
"Hey Chris. Did you notice the timestamp on that video? It said it was about two this morning. Think about what you were doing whilst Ange, Tina and Jez were going at it."
"I was sleeping at my parents place", Chris responds.
"And why was that, Chris? You and Angela have been living together for more than two years. Why did you need to be apart before your Wedding Day?", asks The Driver.
"Ange said it was traditional.", replies Chris sheepishly.
"Oh, so is it traditional for the Bride to be and the Best Man and the Maid of Honour to have an orgy on the night before the wedding?"
"No. No it's not", Chris glances over at Angela to see her quickly look away from him.
Chris' initial shock begins to be replaced by aggression. "For god's sake Angela! What were you thinking?", he yells then solemnly adds, "Why did you even marry me? Why go through all that wedding crap when you didn't even love me?"
Angela sobs, "I do love you Chris... only..."
"Only, what Ange?" Chris asks.
"Only she preferred Jerry's cock and Tina's tongue to yours mate", butts in The Driver, "Sorry, but that's the hard reality of it all. The good thing is you get to have your revenge. And revenge is sweet... Maybe not as sweet as Ange's pussy, as I'm sure Tina will agree, but sweet nonetheless."
"I don't want fucking revenge!" Chris yells, "I want all this fucking mess to go away! Why are you doing this to us? Why couldn't you just leave us alone? Who in the hell are you anyway?"
"Oh, pardon me for not introducing myself." The Driver removes his glasses and chauffeur's hat then reaches up and flicks on the car interior light. "I'm you Chris. Don't you see the family resemblance?" he laughs.
"What? That's impossible!" stammers Chris, but he, Angela and Tina can't help but stare in amazement. Now, in the light and without the hat and thick rimmed glasses, there is a definite resemblance. Just twenty or more years older. But how? That can't be.
"Impossible? Yes I agree. I can't even explain how I got to be here... In this time... All I know is I was brooding about how much of a chump I was for not seeing what my slut of a wife and so called friends were up to behind my back, when I started to think how good it would be to go back in time and end their lives before they had a chance to ruin mine. Then, next thing I know, WHOOSH! I'm back in 1985 - just like Marty McFly - Is Back to the Future out yet guys?" They all nod. "And on the day of my wedding nonetheless. What are the chances? All I can put it down to is it must be some weird Universe crossover effect.
It took me a few hours to figured out where I was and the date, but once I had I made my way to the reception, found this limo waiting in the driveway and the driver sitting on the hood having a smoke. I snuck up behind him and strangled the dopey bastard, then shoved him in the trunk.
But I can tell you Chris, without a shadow of a doubt, I'm you in twenty-three years time. And the future you, that's me, remains married to this two-timing bitch (Oops sorry, how could I forgot about you Tina... make that, a THREE-TIMING bitch", he waves the gun at Angela, "for twenty-three years before learning her dirty little secret.
You want to know what really sucks? We have three kids, two girls and a boy, and I don't even know if they're mine. The boy definitely has Jerry's egotistical confidence, a trait I'm sure you know we never possessed.
The Driver produces photographs. "Here's a family portrait taken for our tenth anniversary. Here's one of you Ange with our first born, Katherine (well, your first). Look Tina, here's one with you holding Katie in the hospital."
Chris interjects, "This is nuts! I don't know how you made these photos - or that video - but you are not my future self. You've killed my best friend and ruined my life. Just please let us go."
"Sorry pal, I can't do that. Not without finishing what I came here for", responds The Driver, as he hits the Play button on the car stereo. The instantly recognisable drum beat of New Order's song, Blue Monday starts playing at high volume. The Driver seems to have gone into a trance.
He snaps out of it as the vocal piece starts and loudly sings along: "How does it feel. To treat me like you do?" whilst staring straight into Angela's eyes.
He finishes off, "How does it feel. When you heart grows cold?", then aims the gun directly between Angela's eyes.
Angela is sobbing uncontrollably. The latest display from Future Chris has her scared senseless, she's babbling, "I'm so sorry Chris. I don't know why I did it. I... I... I... I don't want to die. Please."
"TOO BAD, BITCH", screams Future Chris and he fires. Angela's head rocks back with another ear splitting gun shots. A shower of blood sprays over the back window.
"NO" screams Chris. He holds Angela and weeps.
Tina is screaming and trying to open the door but it's locked. Future Chris points the gun at her "Sorry Teens, but you had your chance to stop this and you blew it."
"No, please don't. Please. I'll do anything. Just please don't kill me", Tina begs.
"Don't shoot her man. Please. C'mon. She's not to blame." Pleads Chris.
"You know what, I'll be doing her a favour. It's actually her death in 2008 that provided me with the videos we've enjoyed this evening. You see, Tina, you suffer a long and horrible death due to breast cancer and it's after your death that I find these tapes in your house, which of course sparks this whole thing off. So by dying now, you get to go whilst you're still young a pretty - and with both your tits still attached. You should be thanking me."
Tina loses it, "FUCK YOU, YOU SICK BASTARD!" she screams and dives towards Future Chris. He shoots her mid way and she drops to the floor.
"For fucks sake", Chris cries out, "Why did you have to kill her? Why?"
"I told you Chris. I'm doing her a favour."
"But you said she still had another 23 years to live."
"Yeah, but they were shit years to be honest. She never married, or had a decent relationship with anyone - guy or girl - and she would've died alone if we hadn't remained friends. Which, come to think of it, her long friendship was probably due to Ange and her occasionally getting it off together. And, let me tell you, I'm very bitter they never involved me in any of these trysts. All these secrets that were kept from me (us, rather) is what drove me over the edge. As you can no doubt imagine, a quarter of a century of lies is a lot to digest in one hit."
"So, are you going to kill me now?"
"Yep, I'm afraid it's the only way."
"But you'll be killing yourself."
"Correct! Give that boy a cigar.
I've already thought this through. This is much better than killing myself in 2008. If I kill you now (I mean, me. Wow this is crazy, isn't it?), then none of all that crap ever got past this fateful day. I just wish I could've gone back to that engagement party and popped them both while they screwed on the beach. That sure would've been satisfying. And I would've only needed one bullet; Bang! Straight through Jerry into Angela. Two birds. Boom! Gone. But beggars can't be choosers. And I must admit it was fun to see that stuff with Tina and Ange wasn't it? Hey? C'mon admit it. I'm you, I know you've always got off on the lesbian thing."
Chris interjects, "You know what? I've changed my mind. I want you to kill me! It's bad enough that I've lost my beautiful wife and two good friends. Now I've seen my future, I no longer want one."
Future Chris smiles.
"So, do it. Shoot me.
Come on. Shoot me.
Now damn you! Do it!
COME ON! KILL ME!"
"That's the spirit Chrissie-Boy. Let's go. Let's get off this crazy ride." rants the crazed Future Chris.
He lines the pistol at Chris then sniggers, "Oh boy, this'll confuse the hell out of the coppers, won't it? Ha ha ha!"
BLAM! A bullet strikes Young Chris' forehead.
The old and tormented Chris places the barrel of the revolver against his own forehead. BLAM! One final shot rings out through the night.