The first time I looked up porn on the internet I was 12. There was no ceremony involved and it didn't make me more of a man but I do remember the guilt. Like a slightly too warm cannonball in my stomach. My neighbour and I rode our bikes too and from school and it was during a daily ride home I had the idea. I yelled "Dude" and he looked at me and sped back as if he was on the precipice of an unfolding crisis. 

"Dude we've got the internet and no ones home"

He knew exactly what I meant. We started riding back, discussing how to navigate the thing, like a parent discussing where to meet their kids in case they get lost. He had already looked at porn before on his Dad's computer which meant that he had looked behind the curtain and didn't get upset.

"You look out, I'll do the searching," my neighbour yelled.

"But it's my computer. Why can't you?"

"Cause I know which sites to look at."

"Isn't it a family computer though?" my neighbour yelled.

"It is but it's one of those computers with seperate accounts or whatever. It's like not that easy to find out I think."

We both grinned and sped down through the streets that led to my house. We frantically rode up the driveway and let our bikes crash behind us.